Oral sex begins with the first deep kiss, and continues with kisses all over the body,concentrating finally on the genitals. On the partof the giver it requires a degree of emotionalinvolvement, because it must be done with patience, tenderness, sensitivity and mountingbut controlled excitement if it is to be really good.Lovers who give oral sex reluctantly and withoutgenerosity or enjoyment make their partners feelguilty and selfish, and too tense and worried torelax and take pleasure themselves. From the receiver, oral sex requires trust, and the confidence that comes with beingmade to feel desirable. In sex, as in other areas of life, it is often more difficult to receive generosity than to give it, but the person whosuccumbs completely to pleasure delivers himselfor herself over to the lover, and this also gives asense of wonderment. It goes without saying thatsexual hygiene is of prime importance for anyonewho engages in oral sex.

Oral sex for women is called cunnilingus. For many women, cunnilingus is the most exciting of all the variations of sex, anda gentle and skilful lover should be able to makehis partner come with his tongue more easilythan in any other way. A strong slippery tonguecan be used with precision on the clitoris withoutdanger of causing any pain, unlike a finger. Begin by kissing your partner’s face and mouth, and then gradually work your way downher body, kissing and stroking her breasts, bellyand inner thighs. Flick your tongue in lightfeathery kisses along the fleshy folds of the outerlabia, smoothing away the pubic hair and then parting the labia gently with your fingers. Move very gradually inwards with your tongue. Varyyour movements according to your partner’sresponse. Try nuzzling, burrowing, thrusting with your tongue into her vagina, sucking, longdelicate licks, short rapid flicking licks. She maynot like her clitoris to be stimulated directly atfirst, so proceed tentatively until she is fullyaroused. Once she can trust YOU and feel confident that you like what you are doing, shewill be able fully to let go in orgasm. Being ‘on thespot’, a man can get a special thrill fromexperiencing so directly the blissful effect he hason his partner, as well as from her vulnerabilityand trust.

Oral sex for men is called fellatio. The experience of having their penis sucked, lickedand kissed is one that most men find intenselyexciting. In some cases, there may bepsychological barriers to overcome. Some menfear being bitten during oral sex. The womanshould open her mouth as wide as possible, andclose her lips, but not her teeth, over the penis.Using all the muscles in the lips and tongue willmean that the teeth should not come into contact with the penis at all. Some women are worried that they may be choked during fellatio. The way to allay thisfear is to remain in control: you are the one whoshould move while your partner lies still, so thereis no possibility of his thrusting deep into yourthroat and making you gag. Some women findthe idea of swallowing semen repugnant. Ofcourse there is no need for you to do this if youdo not wish to, but many women do enjoy havingtheir partner ejaculate into their mouth.

Work your way down your partner’s body, beginning with kissing his face and mouth andprogressing to his genitals. Be very gentle, asthey are highly sensitive to pain. There are manyways of stimulating the penis with your lips andtongue. You can lick all along the shaft with adelicate tongue, then use more pressure andpress your open lips as well as your tongueagainst it as you rub them up and down towardsthe head. You can lick and kiss the frenulum - the sensitive place where the glans joins the shaft onthe underside, which will be facing towards you ifthe man is lying on his back with an erection. Youcan take the head of the penis in your mouth andsuck it, tickling it at the same time with yourtongue, and you can move your lips as far downthe shaft as is comfortable. Then move up anddown, sucking and pressing with your lips and tongue.
The ‘69′ position is so called because the figures resemble a couple giving each other oralsex. While many couples find this a good way ofarousing each other, others find it difficult toconcentrate on giving and receiving such intensepleasure at the same time. If you are about tocome in this position, it is best to break off frompleasuring your partner to avoid inadvertentlybiting him or her. Use your fingers to indicate toyour partner what is happening and let yourselfgo in orgasm.