Masturbation is a natural and healthy method of sexual release engaged in by most peopleof both sexes. It is also a good way of learning one’sown sexual response. Women who can bringthemselves to orgasm by masturbating are more likelyto have orgasms with their partners, and men whocan masturbate for 15-20 minutes without ejaculatingare less likely to suffer from problems of prematureejaculation during intercourse. Stimulating yourpartner’s genitals is also called masturbation, and isan important part of lovemaking.

The external female genitals are calledthe vulva. Pubic hair grows on the labia major, andinside these outer vaginal lipsare the labia minor, which are pinker and moister. If the sight ofyour own genitals is not familiarto you, examine them in a handmirror while you relax after a bath or shower. Theclitoris is situated where the labia minor join at the top.It is a pink knob about the size of a dried pea, and ishighly sensitive. The clitoris is protected by a hood,which retracts during sexual arousal. Below the clitorisis the tiny opening of the urethra, through which urinepasses, and below that is the opening to the vagina.

When you feel a gathering tension in the vaginal area and a build-up of warmth, orgasm ison the way. Continue to stimulate yourself, as if youstop, these sensations will fade and it may be difficultto get them back again. The clitoris becomesincreasingly sensitive as you proceed, whether youare stimulating it directly or not, and then orgasmbreaks out with waves of vaginal contractions. Mostwomen like some form of genital contact duringorgasm: either continued stimulation or pressing orholding the vaginal area. Some like to insert a fingerinto the vagina as theycome.

Most men are expert at giving themselves pleasure, butthere’s no harm in extra practice. A good way offinding out exactly how yourgenitals respond tostimulation is by soaping andgentle massage in the bath,allowing yourself to fantasizeas you do so. Some menenjoy fondling their testicles,and some enjoy penetrating the anus with a finger.There are many different strokes you can use on thepenis. If you are uncircumcised, you can draw theforeskin over the head of the penis and then pull itback down the shaft to get an erection; if you arecircumcised, repeated squeezing round the shaft andletting go is usually effective. Then you can let your hand glide up and down the shaft in long slowmovements, gradually building up speed andpressure. You may enjoy rubbing or tickling the glansof the penis, though for some men this is toosensitive. You may like gentleor firm pulling, stroking,squeezing and stretching. Try holding off ejaculationby varying the stroke when you become too excited,before finally letting go in orgasm.

Masturbation need not be something that you do only when you are alone. Many peoplefind the sight of their partner masturbating highlyerotic. It can also be very instructive to discover how your partner reaches orgasm alone, as this will be thebest method for you to adopt when you aremasturbating him or her. Masturbating with yourpartner will break down inhibitions and allow you toget even closer.

Masturbating your partner in the way he or she enjoys is an important part oflovemaking, and many women like being masturbatedto orgasm before penetration. Both men and womenneed to learn how to handle each other’s genitals withtenderness and sensitivity.