Since the 1960’s, when Kinsey began to bring sex out of the closet, there hasbeen such a great deal of open discussioncentred around the female orgasm that manywomen feel under intense pressure to ‘perform’. Ifyou feel your partner is comparing you toprevious lovers, or to an orgasmic ideal in hishead, it detracts from the intimate pleasure of sexand turns it into a competition.

Many women are bothered by the idea that there may be two types of orgasm - vaginal and clitoral. Theywonder whether the orgasms they areexperiencing are ‘the real thing’. But are therereally two types of orgasm? It was Freud who firstsuggested that there were. He said that theorgasm experienced through clitoral stimulationwas the precursor of a deeper, more satisfyingorgasm experienced in the vagina duringpenetration by the penis. According to him, thevaginal orgasm was a ‘true, mature’ sexualresponse, while the clitoral orgasm was itsimmature inferior. The value judgements Freud and his followers placed on the two types oforgasm have caused a lot of unhappiness amongsome women who never experience orgasmduring penetration. They feel that they aremissing out, and are therefore inadequate: lessthan ‘real women’.

Researchers into sexual response have been much concerned with the categorization of the female orgasmsince Freud’s time. Kinsey’s view was that therewas only one type of orgasm, that it wastriggered by clitoral stimulation and involvedcontractions of all parts of the female body, including the vagina. He could not distinguish asecond type of orgasm that centered solely onthe vagina, and he utterly refuted Freud’sdistinction between ‘mature’ and ‘immature’ orgasms.

Subsequent clinical evidence has proved conclusively that Kinsey was right, and now sexologists aregenerally agreed that an orgasm is an orgasm.Researcher Helen Kaplan has come to thisconclusion: ‘Regardless of how friction is appliedto the clitoris, i.e. by the tongue, by the woman’sfinger or her partner’s, by a vibrator, or by coitus,female orgasm is probably always evoked byclitoral stimulation. However, it is alwaysexpressed by circurnvaginal muscle discharge.’

Although all orgasms are equal, women do report different sensations according to whether they are beingpenetrated or masturbated. And the surprise isthat masturbatory orgasms, which areexperienced by all women who can teachthemselves to come through masturbation, aloneor with a partner, are the more pleasurably acute.All women who orgasm in this way know theacute tension of the clitoris. The voluptuousrushing sensation that breaks into multiplecontractions of the surrounding tissue. A smallminority of women (around 20 per cent,according to sex researcher Shere Hite), whoalso orgasm with a penis inside the vagina,describe that as a quite different experience.Although Freud claimed that orgasms duringintercourse were superior, the majority of womenin a survey carried out by Shere Hite said theywere less intense. Whereas masturbatoryorgasm is experienced as a high, sweet, ripplingsensation, the peak of sensitivity, orgasm withpenetration is like the boom of a distantexplosion, powerful, but somewhat muffled.

Orgasms triggered by the partner’s fingers or tongue, and by masturbation,are probably more intense because stimulation ismore localized and more sensitively guided.Masters and Johnson reported strongercontraction spasms and higher rates of heartbeatduring orgasm without intercourse, and especially during masturbation, and many women confirmedthat they had their best orgasms when alone.Orgasm during penetration is undoubtedly quiterare for many women because a thrusting peniscan stimulate the clitoris only ‘in passing’, if at all,depending on the position of the couple. Theorgasm experienced may be more diffusebecause the penis alters the focus of attentionfrom the clitoris to the whole of the lower part ofthe woman’s body, and because the vagina is full‘muffling’ the sensation.

A simultaneous orgasm, when both partners come together duringpenetration, may feel like a surprisingly bigunderground explosion, but it probably offers theleast in terms of sensual awareness. The reason for this is that if both parties are focused on theirown experience or ‘black-out’ and becomeoblivious of each other, the sensation of the partner’s orgasm is largely lost. For a woman,simultaneous orgasm is often followed by afeeling of disorientation, and a disappointmentthat lovemaking has come to an end.

Orgasm during intercourse is often less acute.
However, many of the women who are able toexperience it prefer it for emotional reasons,because it involves complete body-to-bodycontact, holding the partner and giving oneself to him at the same time. Feeling whole and lovedand emotionally satisfied are important aspects ofa good sexual relationship, but these feelings canbe experienced whether orgasm takes placeduring intercourse or not. What is important isthat women should experience regularmasturbatory orgasms. Orgasm relieves tension,recharges the body and revitalizes the mind. It leaves the woman feeling sparkling and whole.When shared with a partner, it represents thepeak of sexual fulfillment and can be a powerfulexpression of love, helping to unite the couple.

Multiple and sequential orgasms, like vaginal and clitoral orgasms, are concepts which have caused a lotof confusion and left many women worried thattheir sexual response might be somewhatinadequate. Because orgasms come in waves, some women are not even sure whether their orgasms are multiple or single. Multiple orgasmsare those that are experienced in a chain, onedirectly after another; sequential orgasms arethose with a gap of a few minutes between eachone. It seems that true multiple orgasm isextremely rare, although many women arecapable of sequential orgasm.

On the topic of multiple orgasm, Masters and Johnson wrote: “If a female who is capable of having regular orgasms is properly stimulated within a shortperiod after her first climax, she will in mostinstances be capable of having a second, third,fourth, and even a fifth and sixth orgasm beforeshe is fully satiated. As contrasted with the male’susual inability to have more than one orgasm in ashort period, many females, especially whenclitorally stimulated, can regularly have five or sixfull orgasms within a matter of minutes.”

Being capable of six orgasms in a row is not the same as needing or even wanting that many.According to Shere Hite, about 90 per cent ofwomen who orgasm feel completely satisfied witha single climax. And in many women the clitorisremains hypersensitive, and further stimulation isuncomfortable and can even prove painful.

Does the G-spot really exist?
The G-spot is named after its discoverer, ErnstGrafenberg. While many women still doubt itsexistence, others claim that stimulating a placeabout 5cm/2 inches inside the vagina towards thefront of the body gives them intense pleasure.
The G-spot is said to be the female equivalent ofthe male prostate gland, which is situated about5cm/2 inches up the rectum towards the front ofthe body. Stimulation of both these places canlead to orgasm in some cases. Some womenhave even found that they ejaculate a fluid if theyhave an orgasm by stimulation of the G-spot, andresearchers in Canada and the United States claim that the composition of the fluid isremarkably similar to the secretion of the prostategland.
How do you find the G-spot?
If you doubt the existence of the G-spot, you cantry to find it yourself. The easiest way to reach itis with your own or your partner’s finger, but thereare also positions for intercourse in which thepenis stimulates the sensitive area. Rear-entry isbest, particularly with the man on top and a pillowbeneath your hips, so that the penis pressesagainst the front wall of the vagina.